A non-Mormon expert on Mormonism

Yesterday I covered a lecture here at USU and wrote about it for the Deseret News!

Jan Shipps, described as "one of the most trustworthy scholars on Mormonism" spoke about her research and latest book. It was very interesting! She spoke with a southern accent and handled questions from some very serious "ex-Mormons" trying to get dirt about the Mormon religion! (She gave them nothing despite thier persistance)

Anyway, here is the link in the Mormon Times:

Mormon neighbors have taken Shipps on a real trip

Mr. Wilson: Errand runner; sin in the office

Ben is the “errand runner” at work. (We work at the same place: USU) He has the coveted job in the office. He gets to walk around campus in the afternoon picking up donations from the different departments while I sit in front of a computer fighting with all my strength to keep my eyes opened. Did you know that you CAN fall asleep with your eyes opened? Oh, it’s possible, trust me. Sometimes, while my eyes are wide opened, my head will suddenly snap and I’ll realize that I’ve been unconscious, and I usually don’t know for how long.

I don’t know how people handle working in an office all their lives. I guess the cost of living can be a pretty good motivator.



My dream, though, is to be like my friend. I will not name her name, but I will describe her. She’s a jolly large rosy-cheeked German woman, with braids on the sides of her head, and Viking horns on special occasions. She speaks English with a thick hearty German accent, and eats Wiener schnitzel for breakfast. She enjoys swimming for some reason. (You know who you are) Her dream is my dream. I think she told me once that she wants to live all alone on the top of a mountain. Or something like that. Of course, she wouldn’t be all alone, there would be SMELLY OLD GOATS surrounding her little cottage. (I bet that now some people have figured out who she is.) I would substitute the goats for Ben, of course.



Exciting things do happen at work, though. Just the other day, around 8:15 in the morning, a co-worker busts out the giant bag of … CHOCOLATE! “Breakfast of champions,” I think to myself. Well, apparently there are more champions in the office than I would have suspected. She refilled the candy dish with her chocolate. What once held some innocent breath mints and other hard candies now bulged with “fun-size” Kit Kats, Hershey’s, Whoppers, and various sinful delights. I’ve never heard word spread faster.



“(So and so) put CHOCOLATE in the candy dish!!” “Hurry and get some before it’s gone!!” “But, it’s too early in the morning for CHOCOLATE!” “But it’s a matter of life or death – if I don’t get some CHOCOLATE now, I’m going to DIE!!” “I will never see a piece of candy in my life again – this is it!” “It’s the end of the world!” I didn’t know my fellow office-mates could move so lithely!



What did I do? I stared open-mouthed, drool dripping to my chin, and watched the miraculous event. Sadly, I missed my chance. By the time the massacre was over, there were only a few Whoppers left. I don’t like Whoppers. Those poor Kit-Kats and Hershey’s didn’t know what was coming for them that frosty stark early morning. The next day, the carnage was gone. All that was left in the candy dish were a few lonely boring breath mints and some mini Tootsie-Pops (left-over Halloween candy).

Good Luck Emily!

I just want to wish EMILY the best of luck at the 5A high school state swimming championships this weekend!

Swim your hardest! You've worked for it and you know it! (And I know it too -- I've heard about your workouts.)

GO EMILY!!

We love you!

Utah vs. BYU swim meet live online!

Apparently, someone is filming the Utah-BYU meet tonight, and it will be streamed live online! I heard about this through Facebook, and I’m not sure exactly how it will work or how trusty will be. But I sure hope it comes through! (Now if I only had Internet at home)

It should be at this link, 6 p.m. (MST): http://www.floswimming.org/videos/coverage/view/234607-byu-utah

There is already a video posted that tells who will win "on paper." It's a different story live though!

GO UTES!

I agree with John Lennon: I’m soooooo tired, I cannot stay awake

The other day at work I was sitting next to this girl. It was the afternoon. I am not kidding you when I say she yawned once every 10 seconds! I could tell she was devoting all her energy to holding her eyes open. She was restlessly clicking through the Internet and taking sips from her water bottle about every 30 seconds (every time she took a drink, she unscrewed the cap, and when she was done she screwed it back on only to repeat the process 25 seconds later.) Next came a sharp intake of air preceding a rather loud exhale (Yawn after yawn after yawn). After about 10 minutes of this I started twitching, and had to put my headphones on and turn up the music. For some reason, I have a hard time listening to people yawn without end. Maybe because it’s contagious, I don’t know.

Does anyone know that feeling, when you feel like you can’t help but yawn every 10 seconds? You’re usually bored, your throat starts to feel like it’s tightening or closing up, your eyelashes feel like they’ve got barbells tied in them, you kind of have hungry breath, and your brain starts twitching? You actually think about trying one of those high-caffiene-sugar-loaded-pee-colored-with-alcohol-hidden-inside drinks that come in the tall skinny cans? Well, at the moment, I am thankful for this feeling, because it lets me know I’m still alive!! (I read too many obituaries)

IN OTHER NEWS: One of my mother’s old flings from Cyprus High teaches institute here at USU! We wanted to take one of his classes, but they don’t really fit into our schedules. I’ll give you a hint at who he is: He STILL holds Utah Age Group swimming records, and I think he may hold some high school records as well. (In high school, he went .49 in the 100 yard butterfly!) He wrote lovey-dovey notes in my mom’s yearbooks that I’ve sneakily read!!!

I think all the Utah boys got kicked off American Idol. That includes the Osmond guy.

Utah Swimming hosts BYwho in a “Black Out” meet tomorrow!!! Fans are encouraged to wear black at the meet! I would give my right foot to be at that meet. GO UTES – KICK SOME UGLY COUGAR TRASH! GOOD LUCK TO ALL THE KEARNS HIGH ALUMNI!

I can’t keep up with everything going with the legislature.

Job-searching in this economy is scary.